Opening Day- The Ben Sheets Toga Party

Well it's been too long. That's my fault. What are you gonna do. Anyway, let's go over the Opening Day against the godless, soulless, baby killing machines that are the baseball team from the north side of the mythical city of Chicago.

March 31- Opening Day, new hope, new faces, new lineups, same old rivalry. The first eight innings were a classic pitchers duel. Ben Sheets was practically unhittable (not a word, go fuck yourself for noticing). Unfortunately, the crew could not unhinge Zambrano. Here's one of the more memorable Zambrano meltdowns...


Ahh... good times...

Anyway, he was dealing as well. The Brewers could only muster 3 hits and a walk. 5 Ks didn't help either.

The other issue was Kosuke Fukudome. That mother fucker would not get out all day. The only two hits Sheets gave up were to that import. Not to mention a walk. Good thing for us, no one else got a hit off Sheets, or Torres, or Mota, who was just nasty. Sheets was particularly great, going 6 and a third with 7 K's. The Cubs could do as much with that stuff as a Rock of Love girl could do with the SATs. It's good to see that 6.4 of our 25+ million dollar bullpen was working.

Which brings us to the Scrubs bullpen. Marmol was hard to hit as usual. The guy just can figure out the crew, who have hit .150 against him. But then, the Cubs savior, the unreliable Kerry Wood came out in the top of the 9th. All of the season previews from the pundits have chosen the Cubs because they feel Kerry Wood is more reliable than Eric Gagne... Let's see what happens:

- Weeks hit by pitch
- TGJr sacrifices him over to 2nd
- Fielder intentionally walked
- Braun singles, Weeks Scores, Fielder to 2nd
- Hall k's
- Hart doubles, Fielder Scores, Braun Scores

Yeah, thats about right for a savior. But unfotunately, Gagne debuted his new beard. Let's look at that bad boy...


Man, thats just lazy. It's not a worthwhile beard. Thats just not shaving for a week. And judging by the first three hitters, looks like the laziness continued. Lee singled, Ramirez walked, and Fucking Domee homered. I hate that guy now. I just take solace in the fact that he'll never see the majority of his family and friends ever again, being that Russia will probably nuke them over NATO inclusions.

Anyway, Councell doubled, weeks got hit by a pitch, and TGJr hit a sac fly to give the crew the lead in the 10th, and Riske shut them down. Nothing like getting the year started with a great win.